Day 1 & 2

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3/30 - by Lauren

Today was a slow start. Reading and coffee (made by Eric) slowly woke me.. Still getting used to waking at 7am. The boys took there time with social media and cooking breakfast. All three of these guys are so completely different from one another; I rather enjoy having them around. Vic spends quite some time with his "office" as he calls it. He is some what of a marketing wizard, if that's not too nerdy a word. ;) It is obvious that he loves what he does and is extremely good at it. Alternatively from his passion for his career I find him very even-keel and mellow. He is very helpful, a sure-paced and lively hiker, and generally in great spirits. I don't think I've heard him complain once.. About anything (might I add-unlike the rest of us). As for Eric...I don't think anyone would argue if I called Eric a wealth of knowledge. I keep suggesting his "trail name" be "trail guide" or "the teacher". I'm uncertain if he likes these names or is slight perturbed by them. We lightly bicker from time to time but I keep thinking that we are actually just getting to know each other better. For those who do not know, Eric is my boyfriend of almost four years, yet we rarely obtain the opportunity to spend more than a couple of days together at a time. Up until recently I worked two jobs, one full time, and one 3-4 days a week, and he was a full timer (but tiredlessly put in more than a full days work). I half-jokingly told my girlfriends that I didn't know how jumping head first into a five month 24/7 relationship would treat us but we actually seem to slowly passing it's tests. -That is to say no argument has lasted more than a few minutes and I constantly want to race back over and give him a kiss immediately after. :) Eric brings a strong head and witty energy to the group. The boys are constantly joking and makes ridiculous puns which im almost certain that only they find funny but the laughter is infectuous. The third male of the group, the last one to join, but certainly enthusiastic and well welcomed, is inherently fun to be around, is Bo. Continuously good natured, even his complaining is somehow jovial. He is not the quickest hiker of the group but he somehow keeps trucking (with his WAYoversized backpack- might I add) and has a hilarious and witty outlook on himself and really this whole experience.

As for myself, I am not one to put myself in a category and have no idea of my place here. From the beginning I have intended this as a somewhat of a spiritual journey and I really believe that one gets out what one puts into something. I am certainly not the catalyst of this adventure.. all three of the boys have put in infinitely more planning and preparation in the trip than have I, but emotionally I am sure I am in at the very least, the same page. I can't be completely sure of the boys emotions simply because they are men... and men don't tend to open up quite as much about feelings as women (or perhaps not quite as much as an emotional female as myself-lol).

For the first time today I felt strong. Like really STRONG. I may have been fleeting, but the memory stays with me like an adrenaline high. I must admit that yesterday several difficult realizations shockingly hit me like slap across the face. I haven't know whether to hysterically laugh or seriously take a doubtful moment to myself. Let me preface this with the fact that I have no intention to quit the trail at any point, nor do I expect to have any negative thoughts; however.. My backpack is.. heavy. ...And I mean h.e.a.v.y. I have not a clue of its actual weight as we have chosen not to weigh our packs quite yet, but it feels as if a practical joker may have replaced my soft fluffy sleeping bag and sleeping pad with 30 pound cement bricks. I found that the most difficult part of this is wrapping my head around the fact that this cement/asphalt/ perhaps-mixed-with-pain-and-memories-from-past-lives-and-relationships backpack is NOT-GOING-ANYWHERE. This is not a fun two day hike where we are merely hiking to camp, hiking back out, and then retiring to a heated cabin with a cozy fireplace and a warm bath. Heck, this isn't even a month hike to jar up the spirit and break up the mundaneness of the daily grind. This backpack, as separate and foreign to me as it may seem, is here to stay. For the next five months of my life, this pack is a part of me. Yesterday this idea was very difficult to accept. I did nearly zero training for this journey (unless you count running up and down the stairs of Ocean Bar-lol) and I am nowhere near adapt to a pack of this size. It seems that huge mass, very separate to myself is constantly pressing me down and backwards into the uneven, rocky ground. The hiking poles are of no help. As Eric jokingly put it, "your poles are flaling about in very haphazard way, baby".

Today.. it is different. I feel very strong. I'm not insinuating that my joints, muscles and bones are not unbearably sore. It's my spirit. Suddenly my soul is starting to float, as my dad would put it, as high as an eagle. I expected this feeling on this trip but maybe not so soon. Granted, it came very infrequently and left almost as instantly as they came, but they were real and intense. I caught myself laughing to myself as I sped down a hill with most of my group far behind me. My pack, for the first time (while not weightless) felt like a part of me. A part of me that is an extra 40 pounds, but a PART of me. My poles were even on board. Instead of being these cranky little sticks that seem adhered to my tired fingers, they worked in unison with each other and with myself. I thought I was being witty as I joked to Eric about the giraffes from Broadway's Lion King, comparing them to my shaking poles and arms. I started singing the opening credits theme song and while it received little to no laughs, I am glad I thought of it. I have begun to think of the poles as an extension of myself. Although Eric suggested this idea earlier, it is much easier said than done and our minds tend to work very differently. He should have said, "Use the poles like lanky giraffe legs" -lol, yes I know Eric would never say that.. I have a very odd brain and I've come to terms with it ;) - On the opposite spectrum, I must say that at more than one time today I have pictured the scene from Seinfeld when George is in the wheelchair race with the angry elderly gentlemen (reference for Mandi and Alicia- ha!) and the scene is so exciting yet so slooow. At one point I started laughing to myself or would have had the heart to if my breath hadn't been completely lost any my heart alarmingly pounding in my ears) to the thought of how slow we were walking up this damn hill. Gasping and stumbling and puttering for breath to step two more feet really is quite hilarious when you think about it. I hope I'll still think so when the reality of this "slow speed race" starts to really sink. Today has already been worth it. Those minuscule moments of bliss is why I came up here.